One of my favorite past times, and ways to generate income is to fix and refinish pieces of furniture. I love saving things people discard and remaking them into something beautiful.

I have been working on a piece of High Point Furniture. Working on as in sitting in my work space.

I decided its time to start.

I started chipping away at this thick cabinet only to find the paint wasn’t going anywhere.  Too many layers of paint encrusted.  I took to it a chemical paint stripper.  As I was scratching away the layers with the paint scraper it made me think of my life. An accumulation of layers: False identities, labels, beliefs, values or perceived values, friends, loved ones, character traits, roles. Sometimes we begin to take on a different form, a different shade of what we originally intended our life to be colored by.

We make and craft ourselves to be vibrant with color, but still chipped by illusion.

Sometimes, the process of discovery and uncovering what’s underneath is like a treasure hunt. Uncovering grains and wood and patterns is like magic!

Great things take time like people, objects, stories, songs, patience, and love. The thought of this cabinet becoming a the masterpiece it was originally intended keeps the desire to keep working alive- not because of my hands but because of what it originally was created to be- a work of art to be treasured, valued.  Restoration to a place of perfection. We expect perfection without the grace of time to get there. Instant or else. Great things aren’t finished in a day. Things collapse, fall apart and  often times they need a little space and time to be remodeled.

This process taps me on the shoulder like a little child who needs a little love, gently tapping to get my attention. A loving reminder to let go of my insecurities, and false identities, past failures and short comings.  These protective coats no longer serve or are beautiful.

In this season of life, I am beginning to see things about myself that have accumulated like the paint, such as dust, grime, and imperfections. I can’t disguise or apply more paint to alter truth or pain or unfounded labels.

I don’t want to be a manicured distortion of reality.  Layer by layer, truth by truth, root by root we uncover ourselves, as we are, pining away at the gem beneath the surface.

I begin forging ahead with grit to the finish line of completion, as the natural wood begins to surface, and shine through, it’s beautiful.

(Note: this is not the actual restoration)

all my love and paint 🎨 ,

bb

 

I just got back from a much needed vacation with my family.

 

Every year in the summer we go to a secluded mountain area and relax. This week was the kid’s spring break and I needed a much needed respite from my life.

To breathe. To recover. To unwind mentally emotionally heck even physically. After a series of events the past few months I was emotionally done. It’s amazing what limited wifi and technology can do for your creativity. I was afraid that I didn’t continue at my manic pace nothing was going to get done & I was going to die. Well I didn’t. Much to my surprise my productivity level has been out the roof. I have been able to concentrate and get everything done that needed to get done. While mountain-ing , I participated in some arts and crafts with my Neice. I played silly games and puzzled. I jumped in the freezing cold lake with my nephew and then back to the hot tub- my own version of the Russian and Turkish baths. I breathed in fresh mountain air; I inhaled air while hiking with my family and exhaled negativity and stress and worry and self hatred. I got to reconnect to my parents and my sister and her kids.

Relationships have a tendency to weave in and out, kind of like car maintenance. It must be up kept and attended to because if you don’t work on it and or examine under the hood (or kinks in the system if it were a computer), something may be bound to break down a little later on in the road. You will wonder what happened? You might think shoot I haven’t had an inspection in a few years. Oops. Relationships take time and effort.

It’s good to check in.
It’s good to check out.
It’s good to come back.

Here’s to vacations and giving yourself rest and relaxation. Here is to checking in with your breath so you can exhale freshness to others. Here’s to checking in more regularly with yourself in order to ask others are.

This was the first vacation I have actually been able to rest for a very long time. I often exist in these beautiful places but never able to let go. The other day the termite man came and examined the house and gave a general estimate of cost. While he was leaving, he said, “when I go on vacation I always tell my wife to leave it here. It’s going to be here so let it go.” I thought what a wise man.

Advice comes in all shapes and sizes and voices and decibels levels, young and geriatric. Be good to yourself.xxx

 

Taking yourself seriously.

Do you?

You should.
I have wasted about ten years not taking myself seriously. For a long time I have believed I am worthless. After the past month I have realized that is simply not true. My skill set and gifts are very different than a lot of people’s. I can choose to hate myself because I differ than a lot of mainstreamers or own my difference in taste opinions how I choose to live my life. NY has allowed me to see that being different and creative and thinking outside the box is great.

I love business though I don’t have a degree. I love interacting with startups because the passion the naivety the courage is in full throttle. I love entrepreneurs because they are going for it despite the risk they could fail. You can’t worry about failure because it is inevitable but as a famous navy seal said fail falling forward. You can do anything you want to do. I wish I had committed to myself and my beliefs and honestly owning who I am before the age of thirty. I envision myself becoming an amazing business woman who is savvy and brilliant and people seek her from all over for mentoring those who travel the road less traveled it’s a scary path pursuing the dreams God has put in your heart. You must not give up. You must stay strong and fight. At the end of your life do not wish you had done something else or different. Even worse playing it safe. Stop it. Don’t worry about tomorrow.We can’t live in the past or fear the future. We can’t loose hope. Stay focused.