Why I don’t believe in signs.

Why I don’t believe in signs. Fuck you and your signs.

Oh, it’s a sign. That was a sign. Do you believe in signs? Oh my God what’s your sign? That doesn’t match my sign. Do you believe in your sign? That wasn’t a sign. Was there a sign? Then there was a sign.

 Follow the signs. Follow them. As if you are a dog sniffing in the woods for something.  Sniff, sniff, I think its this way nope got turned around nope its this way. FUCK THAT> STOP. GO HOME> Do not PASS GO DON’T COLLECT 200 DOLLARS> FUCK THE SIGNS>FUCK THE Bullshit.

I said these things often. I did. A lot. Until I arrived in Portland Oregon several Februaries ago. Well, really when I retreated back to the airport in February 2017 after the final chapter of chasing signs. Believing them before trusting my instinct, my rational. But it was a sign I told myself as I booked my $600 ticket to Portland. What I need is to go because there have been too many signs to not go. I wandered around Portland with very little leisure money. I interviewed some ethical companies. Saw a good friend and went hiking. Yet I was unsatisfied just a week before the trip I announced to a leadership group I was in I felt like God had wanted me to go. I did. I believed with every ounce of my being, there were too many signs to indicate I was to go. Yet I hadn’t even prayed about it. The following month was the only month I was short on rent money. It was a sign. When I flew back, I told myself I will never rely on false things like signs to commit to a decision ever again. Ever. And I haven’t. Instead, I pray or fast to make a serious decision. I must. Our flesh and conscience fail us every time.

The trip to Portland ended with being so grateful to arrive after the red-eye to my cozy house in Brooklyn. I was grateful to wheel my suitcase down Beverley road and catch the train into BROOKLYN missing rush hour. I was glad to be back. I collapsed in my bed. I thought to myself, ‘what an idiot you were for spending money on a flight to a place you didn’t need to go not even able to fully enjoy because you didn’t plan thoughtfully. But then, I learned an incredibly important lesson that day- don’t trust the signs. Or the pseudo indicators that would dictate a decision.

Signs will be wherever you look.  It might even validate how you feel think act in that very moment.

Trust God. There will be confirmations, maybe, his peace most definitely along the way, BUT NOT SIGNS and weird coincidences and synchronicity and someone saying it’s a sign because it’s not. DON’T BELIEVE THEM.

Because you have his father and mothers name- it’s not a sign

Because you have the same hometown or state it’s not a sign

Because you both have 4 siblings it’s not a sign

Because you have both lost your jobs it’s not a sign

Because he wants to buy a yellow house and you’ve received multiple words you will live in a cute yellow house, it’s not a sign

Because you have the same a mutual friend it’s not a sign to go on a date

Because he matches everything you envisioned for your future it’s not a sign

Because he has the same hobbies it’s not a sign

Because he loves Jesus it’s not a sign

Because you live in the same building it’s not a sign

Because you have the same birthday and live across from each other it’s not a sign

Because he was a hedge fund manager and there’s a hedge fund strategy team: join-  not a sign.

And yes these are all pseudo signs I have experienced or heard of people pursuing bc of the sign-ship.

Don’t believe the signs. Fuck that. Peace out.  (Apologies to beth moore and my family because they don’t think a lady should swear- I will stop now; tomorrow. Bye)


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