Mind Warp. Messy Thoughts Vol. 2

MIND WARP

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I don’t know about you but lately, I feel underwhelmed and overwhelmed and everything in between. My soul feels malnourished, hungry for actual nutrients. My quiet times with God have been less than par. I feel pulled by agendas, emails, government warnings and regulations, calls to actions, petitions, texts, marketing campaigns, etc.

I feel completely exhausted with myself. The loneliness drags me down in terms of not seeing people regularly and my connections are primarily via phone, zoom, facetime etc, with limited in-person interaction.  Last night, I just wanted to go lay in the sand. I wanted to feel a connection to something alive. I went to the beach the other day and just let the salt water wash over me. I played like a child and let myself be held by the water. I feel neglected from the absence of body contact, hugs/ high fives.

I am tired. But good. I am trying to be joyful. I have had some great things happen during this time. As a nation, we have and will continue to rally, fighting for the right things. Voting, sports, decisions on schools to reopen and hybrid education is all in play, the decision of what to do? Opinions, fighting, comments, racial slurs, Karen’s, fears, anxiety, depression, suicide murder. BREATHE.

So so so many conversations, literature, blogs, articles, thoughts, marketing campaigns agendas.  I feel like a cartoon pulled in a thousand directions. STOP

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Make a list. Pick the 7 things you want to get done today. Big, small- get them done or pick pieces of the goal and complete it.  As Brene Brown says know that you are enough. Some days you won’t get it all done, accomplished, communicated, and/or thought out. Sign up, do this, go there, fill this out. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???? Stop.

 

Just do what you can do, and be done with it. One day at a time.

See beauty. Count the humans, things, places, memories, visions, dreams, exercises, colors, music and animals that you are most grateful for. Hold them to your heart.

At an estate sale, we arrived as they were closing up, and the movers and haulers were compiling everything into the yard, it made me sad.  I felt doleful for this family.  The family unit may generationally still be alive and well but this couple is dead. They have passed. People are dying. You will die eventually. Your stuff, your accomplishments, your family, your things, your clothing, your vehicles, your art, they will all still be here, but you won’t. Save up what’s good. Treasure what is holy. Just. Live. Leave a legacy in whatever capacity that will nourish. Don’t hoard.  Share.

The End.

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